Since October 2011, Huff/Post50 has written a lot about the importance of friendship. Longtime friends can be a lifeline, especially as we grow older. We laugh with them. We cry with them. We bitch with them. We drink wine with them. And, if we’re really lucky, we bask in their glow — believing we can do anything so long as they’re by our side.
When it comes to friendship, many people stick with their own age group. But a close friendship spanning different generations can offer a fresh perspective on life as well as other unique benefits.
Recently, we wrote about the importance of longtime female friendships. Then we wrote about the beauty of male-female friendships. Now we’d like to focus on something different: intergenerational friendships — the kind that prove people of all ages have a lot to gain from each other.
Have you had a best friend of another generation for a really long time? We’d love to hear from you, and share your story.
If you would like to be considered, send a photo of you and your friend to friendship50@huffingtonpost.com. We’d also love to receive a few sentences about why you believe the friendship has stood the test of time. Don’t forget to tell us your names and ages as well as how long you’ve been friends. And please put “friendship” in the subject line. The deadline for submissions is Friday, January 15 at 5 p.m.
Help us celebrate the beauty of all kinds of long friendships.
Rita
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Earlier on Huff/Post50:
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What you want is someone to hang with near where you live. Approach this scientifically. Having a friend who lives an hour’s drive away will mean you won’t see them as much as the person who lives closer. So think global, but stay local. That means your local coffee shop, the local branch of the public library, they local chapter of the Sierra Club, or the local college that offers evening courses.
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If you play tennis, join a club or take a few lessons at the community center. If you like to throw parties, volunteer to run the annual fund-raiser at your synagogue or church; when the board thanks you publicly at the dinner, everyone will learn your name. If you hike, join the Sierra Club. If you bicycle, join a biking group or enter a race in your age category. Here’s the one caveat about following your interests: Nobody ever met anyone while watching “American Idol” from the couch.
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Be open to the idea that it’s OK to have friends who are older or younger. The fact that they are in different stages in life just means they bring a different perspective to the table. While a 14-year-old won’t be interested in socializing with a toddler, that 10-year age gap dissipates when they get older. Why not say yes to the 30-somethings who invite you to join them for drinks after work? Invite them over for dinner with their families and get to know their kids. Their views on the world may not match yours precisely, but variety is the spice of life.
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If you are post 50 and uncoupled, you might find that traveling isn’t as much fun. Call it the Noah’s Ark theory, but in general, we like to go places paired up. There are services that will help you find a travel room-mate. Not only does this give you someone to talk to over dinner, it cuts down those single supplements that some tours and cruises charge. Friendly Planet runs one such pairing-up service. Road Scholar offers many active adult adventure vacations here — offers to find you a roommate if you want. Their programs and generally educationally based and draw a well-heeled and educated crowd. Cruise ships do a pretty good job of making sure solo travelers find people to hang out with; group dining arrangements go a long way toward conversational icebreaking.
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Even if you’ve never been a joiner, now may be the time to get yourself out there. Got a new puppy or an old dog who needs some new tricks? Find a community dog-training class. If you like to cook, take a cooking class. Participate in the 5K run for charity, even if you walk the final three.
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Keep your smart phone with you and ask for numbers. Sure it may feel a little awkward to say to someone you just met “Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you on this Sierra Club hike but the next one isn’t for two months. Would you like to get together for a hike before that?” Worst they can say is no.
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With Skype and apps like FaceTime, it’s easier than ever to have face-to-face visits. Don’t assume your old friends are too busy to talk to you on the phone. Most cellphone plans include free long-distance calls and for those that don’t, there’s Skype. Invite friends who live a great distance to come and stay with you. Show them your city. Friendships are like gardens; it’s often easier to tend to an existing one than grow a new one from seeds.