Recently I finished reading Furious Cool, a breezy yet reflective take on the life of Richard Pryor. Rather than present Pryor as merely a pioneering stand-up comic, authors David and Joe Henry position Pryor as a transcendent black entertainer, an essential link from the segregated time of the chitlin’ circuit to today’s world. Pryor, the book asserts, was born from a rich tradition, a hidden culture that informed many civil-rights leaders in overt and subtle ways. Later, as he entered the mainstream, his struggles with his identity as a black public figure — and what it means to “sell out” — drove…

Recently I finished reading Furious Cool, a breezy yet reflective take on the life of Richard Pryor. Rather than present Pryor as merely a pioneering stand-up comic, authors David and Joe Henry position Pryor as a transcendent black entertainer, an essential link from the segregated time of the chitlin’ circuit to today’s world.

Pryor, the book asserts, was born from a rich tradition, a hidden culture that informed many civil-rights leaders in overt and subtle ways. Later, as he entered the mainstream, his struggles with his identity as a black public figure — and what it means to “sell out” — drove his self-destruction and hinted at larger problems for African Americans assimilating into an unfair, flawed society.

I thought of Pryor (the tormented artist coping with his celebrity by freebasing cocaine) while watching Top Five, the latest directorial effort from Chris Rock. As a comic and social commentator, Rock is perhaps the rightful heir to Pryor; indeed, his troubled filmography parallels Pryor’s own spotty, sometimes embarrassing cinematic contributions. Rock has seemingly avoided Pryor’s dark personal legacy, whose best work was behind him by the time he entered his early 40s. With Top Five he finally eclipses Pryor, at least as a filmmaker.

Rock is 49. In a recent interview he spoke fondly of aspiring to a James Taylor-type career, meaning working mainly during the summer and reserving the majority of the year for family and life outside the public view. (Referencing Taylor may be ironic for a comedian known for his Pryor-like stand-up bit “Niggaz vs. Black People.”) This sense of perspective, and a playful rejection of convention, lurks just under the surface in Top Five, which debates issues of race, success and love in a way Pryor might have had he not been derailed by addiction and illness.

Pryor’s legacy — his brilliance, his contradictions and ultimate tragedy — lingers in the shadows of Top Five. He is referenced outright by Rock’s character Andre Allen during a conversation about comedy’s greats. Allen admires his honesty. (In the same breath he applauds recent media lightning rod Bill Cosby for his mastery of storytelling. The film was made during the summer of 2013, long before Cosby’s name became controversial.) But the allusions to Pryor go deeper. Like the real-life comedian, Allen is frozen by self-doubt. He believes his comedic gifts to be tied to drug and alcohol dependence and has turned to making mediocre blockbusters.

Pryor made the abysmal The Toy and Superman III during his middle age. For Allen it’s the popular Hammy series, featuring a degrading character not unlike Martin Lawrence’s Big Momma, or Rock himself parading around in films like Madagascar. While Top Five is messy in its storytelling at times, the world of the film is contemporary and has a lived-in quality that gives the Allen’s plight and his search for purpose true resonance. It’s as if Rock were acting out the trajectory of a comedian like Pryor in Hollywood and made small changes, correcting the lonelier aspects of his path.

In one scene Allen jokes that the only legitimate reasons to break up with someone are either infidelity or abuse. It’s a startling aside — one not warmly received by the character played by a charming Rosario Dawson — but it’s the kind of belief that would not have been out of place in one of Pryor’s routines about relationships. (He openly admitted to mistreating women throughout his life.) In another scene he jokes about not being able to hail a cab in Manhattan; a taxi then stops at that precise moment, Rock updating a common brand of racial humor. Cabs may stop in 2014 — a signal of progress — but issues continue.

Later, when Allen finds catharsis on stage, his natural ability and effortless delivery evokes Pryor’s own knack for recovering from personal trauma the only way he knew how: by performing in front of an audience. But Allen (and Rock?) is able to find professional satisfaction, and personal happiness, in ways that always eluded Pryor.

Of course, Allen is as much a reflection of Chris Rock and his own ruminations on fame as he is a mirror of Pryor. The films succeeds as a kind of superior, more lighthearted version of Pryor’s autobiographical Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling. At the same time Rock’s influences are obvious: The film is meant as a more urban, raucous version of Linklater’s Before series, or typical Woody Allen, or maybe a more accessible version of Rock collaborator Louis CK’s FX series Louie. The result is a bit mixed, tonally, but nevertheless represents a remarkable step forward for Rock as a filmmaker. In an age where most adult fare feels like strategically packaged Oscar bait, Top Five exists in an honest and often hilarious place. We need more films like it.

One final note: Richard Pryor’s career featured several attempts to promote more black voices in film and encourage the work of African0American filmmakers. Top Five is a true embodiment of that dream, having been conceived by some of America’s most prominent black entertainers. Besides Rock’s multiple roles, the music of Top Five was done by Questlove, of the legendary band The Roots. And the cast is perhaps one of film’s greatest assemblage of black comics ever. The film was co-produced by rappers Kanye West and Jay Z, who is often chided for his passive role in bettering the lives of black Americans. (Speaking of West and Jigga, the film is kind of cousin to the themes they explored on Watch the Throne, whose “Niggas in Paris” is the film’s unofficial anthem. I love how Rock engages with hip-hop throughout Top Five, perhaps a spiritual hat tip to CB4.)

Rather than drape itself in Important Messaging, Top Five works best when it casually depicts its characters as they are: existing, conversing. It’s daring at times and has a sense of what’s possible in a way not unlike Pryor’s groundbreaking sketch work on NBC. It may be sexier to talk about Selma today or bang the drum for more female auteurs; that’s fine. Still, Top Five has a definitive voice and truly gets its place in the world. Its first scene features a conversation about what it means to live in a supposedly post-racial, post-Obama America. By the end it’s evoking Preston Sturges’ Sullivan’s Travels, but not before completing its amusing glimpse at the lives of Americans living in that world.

Pryor would be proud.

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Richard Pryor Haunts Top Five

The family of North Carolina high school student Lennon Lacy, whose death this summer was ruled a suicide by a state medical examiner, is now saying they believe the 17-year-old was murdered. Lennon Lacy’s body was found hanging from a wooden swing set in a mobile home park near his home in August. The state’s chief medical examiner, Dr. Deborah Radisch, conducted an autopsy and declared his death a suicide based on information she was given by law enforcement and a local medical examiner. However, Lacy’s family is now expressing concerns that the teenager did not take his own life. “He may have either been …

The family of North Carolina high school student Lennon Lacy, whose death this summer was ruled a suicide by a state medical examiner, is now saying they believe the 17-year-old was murdered.

Lennon Lacy’s body was found hanging from a wooden swing set in a mobile home park near his home in August. The state’s chief medical examiner, Dr. Deborah Radisch, conducted an autopsy and declared his death a suicide based on information she was given by law enforcement and a local medical examiner. However, Lacy’s family is now expressing concerns that the teenager did not take his own life.

“He may have either been strangled somewhere else or been placed there, or he was hung there while people were around watching him die,” Lennon’s older brother, Pierre Lacy, told CNN this week.

Lacy’s mother, Claudia, believes her son was the victim of foul play and that he “didn’t do this to himself.” She wants evidence of the events that led up to and caused his death. When asked by CNN if she believed his death was a lynching, she said yes.

“That’s all I’ve ever asked for: what is due, owed rightfully to me and my family — justice. Prove to me what happened to my child,” Lacy said.

The FBI announced Friday that it is opening an investigation into Lacy’s death.

The local NAACP chapter hired independent forensic pathologist Christena Roberts to review Lacy’s death and details of the medical examiner’s autopsy. Her report, released in November, concluded it was unlikely Lacy acted alone to cause his own death.

Lacy, who was 5-foot-9, was found hanging from a noose tied to a swing set crossbar 7-feet-6 inches high, and “there was no item present at the scene that Lennon could have stood on, applied the noose and then kicked away,” Roberts wrote.

Roberts also noted that the shoes Lacy had on at the time of his death were two sizes too small. Lacy’s brother told CNN that the teen left home wearing size 12 Air Jordans but was found wearing a pair of 10.5 Nike Air Force shoes.

Some close to Lacy have suggested that the high school football player’s interracial relationship with 31-year-old neighbor Michelle Brimhall may have played a role in his death.

“Someone killed him ’cause he was dating an older white woman,” Lacy’s friend Justin Jones told The New York Daily News.

Lacy’s mother said she was disappointed and shocked by Lacy’s relationship and “did not approve.”

Brimhall’s parents told the Daily News that their daughter has gone into hiding since Lacy’s death and they have not been in touch with her for three weeks.

Meanwhile, members of the North Carolina chapter of the NAACP are organizing a march on Saturday in Lacy’s hometown of Bladenboro, North Carolina, in his memory.

Originally posted here: 

Family Says North Carolina Teen’s Hanging Death Was A Lynching

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A University of Pennsylvania fraternity has been suspended pending an investigation into a holiday card showing the mostly white group posing with what it says was a Beyoncé sex doll. Phi Delta Theta’s national leadership halted its Penn chapter this week amid concerns the image – criticized as racist and misogynistic – shows a lack of judgment that’s inconsistent with its values. The chapter issued an apology and says it displayed poor judgment by including the sex toy in a holiday picture. They say they weren’t being racist. In excerpts published by the Daily Pennsylvanian student newspaper, the chapter called the doll “distasteful” and acknowledged it

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A University of Pennsylvania fraternity has been suspended pending an investigation into a holiday card showing the mostly white group posing with what it says was a Beyoncé sex doll.

Phi Delta Theta’s national leadership halted its Penn chapter this week amid concerns the image – criticized as racist and misogynistic – shows a lack of judgment that’s inconsistent with its values.

The chapter issued an apology and says it displayed poor judgment by including the sex toy in a holiday picture. They say they weren’t being racist.

In excerpts published by the Daily Pennsylvanian student newspaper, the chapter called the doll “distasteful” and acknowledged it could be offensive to some people.

The university says it supports ongoing student conversations stemming from the controversy.

Read this article – 

UPenn Fraternity Suspended For Using Beyonce Blow Up Doll In Photo

NEW YORK (AP) — An up-and-coming rapper is among several people arrested in an investigation into a series of gang-related shootings and drug trafficking in New York City. Authorities said Wednesday that Ackquille Pollard was taken into custody shortly after he left a recording studio near Radio City Music Hall in midtown Manhattan. He performs under the name Bobby Shmurda. A spokeswoman for the prosecutor’s office says the 20-year-old Pollard is among a group of defendants named in an indictment that will be unsealed after their arraignments Thursday. The Brooklyn-born Pollard is best known for the hit song “Hot Boy” and for a music video…

NEW YORK (AP) — An up-and-coming rapper is among several people arrested in an investigation into a series of gang-related shootings and drug trafficking in New York City.

Authorities said Wednesday that Ackquille Pollard was taken into custody shortly after he left a recording studio near Radio City Music Hall in midtown Manhattan. He performs under the name Bobby Shmurda. A spokeswoman for the prosecutor’s office says the 20-year-old Pollard is among a group of defendants named in an indictment that will be unsealed after their arraignments Thursday.

The Brooklyn-born Pollard is best known for the hit song “Hot Boy” and for a music video that popularized a dance move called the “Shmoney dance.”

The name of Pollard’s attorney wasn’t immediately available.

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Bobby Shmurda Arrested In New York City Drug Case

“Tampax: so the inside of women’s bodies don’t get cold!” Um, incorrect. Tampon commercials are pretty awkward no matter who makes them. But sketch comedy group Hammerkatz NYU imagined how feminine hygiene products might be advertised if only clueless men were involved in the creative process, left to their (mis)understanding of periods with no female intervention. “Tampax is perfect for when tiny eggs come pouring out of my vagina covered in blood and I need something to scoop them up to put them back inside my body so that I can have babies,” one over-enthusiastic woman sitting at a bar says to the camera. “Tampax …

“Tampax: so the inside of women’s bodies don’t get cold!” Um, incorrect.

Tampon commercials are pretty awkward no matter who makes them. But sketch comedy group Hammerkatz NYU imagined how feminine hygiene products might be advertised if only clueless men were involved in the creative process, left to their (mis)understanding of periods with no female intervention.

“Tampax is perfect for when tiny eggs come pouring out of my vagina covered in blood and I need something to scoop them up to put them back inside my body so that I can have babies,” one over-enthusiastic woman sitting at a bar says to the camera.

“Tampax is the right fit for every woman,” another woman says, sitting on a park bench with a huge bag full of tampon boxes. “No matter how heavy your flow is or how tiny your butt hole is… because that’s where tampons go.”

We’ll definitely give men a little more credit than this, but in general, guys: Google is your friend.

H/T Digg

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This Is What Tampon Commercials Would Look Like If Clueless Men Made Them

Dear members of the Pennsylvania Zeta Chapter of Phi Theta Delta Fraternity at the University of Pennsylvania, My name is Ernest Owens. Yes, that Ernest Owens. I am a fellow Penn alum who has previously challenged neighboring white Greek fraternities that are part of our campus’ Pan-Hellenic community. It was less than a year ago when Penn’s Chi Omega Sorority and Beta Theta Pi Fraternity thought it was okay to throw a “West Philly Gangsta” party featuring their members dressed as thugs with faux-tatted “thug life” insignia on their knuckles. At the time, we were told it was a misunderstanding and fought for a public apology. We finally got …

Dear members of the Pennsylvania Zeta Chapter of Phi Theta Delta Fraternity at the University of Pennsylvania,

My name is Ernest Owens. Yes, that Ernest Owens.

I am a fellow Penn alum who has previously challenged neighboring white Greek fraternities that are part of our campus’ Pan-Hellenic community. It was less than a year ago when Penn’s Chi Omega Sorority and Beta Theta Pi Fraternity thought it was okay to throw a “West Philly Gangsta” party featuring their members dressed as thugs with faux-tatted “thug life” insignia on their knuckles.

At the time, we were told it was a misunderstanding and fought for a public apology. We finally got one — reluctantly — and suggested that racial sensitivity training for Greek members would be the best solution. Because at that time, you all played the victim role, arguing that you didn’t know any better and that race was not the issue.

So when I saw your recent holiday card, which you so proudly allowed social media and the larger college community to view, feature a black female blow-up sex doll, I nearly fainted.

What??!!! Excuse me??!!! Is this real??!!!

But it was. Not only did I begin to ponder what justification you would produce to explain this offense, your public apology only made it worse.

You all said you were sorry (figures), and that it was a gift blow-up doll that was supposed to be Beyonce.

Oh, so you thought that making a mockery of a black female celebrity body would not be just as disgusting as mocking a black student on campus?

I am not going to ask what would your mothers think, because I clearly don’t care. But as a black male alum who has current and future black sisters who will grace the steps of a campus where rape culture is still a problem, you can save your apology and your sexism. I am calling for your fraternity to step down, effective immediately.

Put any color that you wish beside that blow-up doll and it still would appear that you have no respect for the representation of women and your campus. Add the fact that you chose it to be a woman of color and wanted to blatantly showcase that for everyone to see is not just a disregard for how sexist you depict Greek life, it is a grotesque flair of elite white privilege that suggests that you simply don’t care.

An apology is not going to simply cut it this time.

You can’t act as though you didn’t know better — you did. And to add insult to injury, Jimmy Germi, president of your fraternity, is also the elected president of Penn’s Interfraternity Council (IFC). Not only should he also step down, but it is a very clear sign that even those who have stepped to the leadership positions in place still do not respect the safety and equality of female bodies and black bodies.

And no, don’t just consider this a black man arguing about race. Consider this a black male feminist arguing against racial insensitivity, rape culture, and respect for all genders that you all have clearly disregarded in your holiday card. I am not even questioning just your humanity for even choosing to publicly showcase this and find it acceptable, but your actual admission into a university that features various scholars and activists that could have taught you better.

But to point a finger at anyone else but yourselves would be a disservice, because I know if a black fraternity on campus would have done the same with a white blow up doll and called it Taylor Swift — they would be considered racist, sexist, male-chauvinists and would be an endangerment to white women (as if they are not already depicted to be so already).

So what makes you any different? Because in my eyes, a black body is just as important as a white one. And whether you choose to use Taylor Swift as the depiction of that blow-up doll rather than Beyonce, you are still showing a horrific disregard for women.

Make this easy for yourselves, and collectively step down. The campus has progressed since my short time away from it in fighting these types of issues. They will not so easily back down this time. An apology is an understatement right now. Of course you are sorry. Sorry that you got caught. Sorry that your white privilege got the best of you this go-around.

But sorry doesn’t excuse ignorance. Sorry doesn’t change rape culture, racist imagery, and misogyny on a campus that represents otherwise.

I am calling for my alma mater to investigate this issue just as strongly as they would do if the blow-up doll in question was a tint lighter and the men in that photo were a shade darker. Enough is seriously enough.

If you all are men who represent a fraternity that is committed to the motto “One Man Is No Man,” then the decision of one man who so boldly placed that sex toy in the photo should not be the only one who steps down. And if your slogan is “become the greatest version of yourself”, then I hope that this isn’t the best reflection of any of you.

Please step down on behalf of all women at Penn who felt threatened, to all black bodies who have endured enough sexual exploitation and disregard, and to your liberal arts university who should not and hopefully will not condone such unspeakable acts.

Sincerely,

Ernest Owens
A black Penn alum who has had enough of the blatant disrespect.

Taken from – 

An Open Letter to Penn’s Phi Delta Theta Fraternity for Their ‘Beyonce’ Blow-Up Doll Holiday Card

As Jabba the Hutt might say, bargon wan chee kospah ooh (“There will be no bargain!”). But don’t let that stop you from getting something nice for the Star Wars fan in your life this holiday season. Now’s the perfect time to buy your Star Wars items. Anticipation for the next film, “The Force Awakens,” is high following the release of a teaser trailer. But it’s not as high it will be next Christmas, when the movie will have just been released. There are perhaps as many bits of Star Wars merchandise as there are planets in the galaxy far, far away, but we’ve found a little something for everyone.

As Jabba the Hutt might say, bargon wan chee kospah ooh (“There will be no bargain!”). But don’t let that stop you from getting something nice for the Star Wars fan in your life this holiday season.

Now’s the perfect time to buy your Star Wars items. Anticipation for the next film, “The Force Awakens,” is high following the release of a teaser trailer. But it’s not as high it will be next Christmas, when the movie will have just been released.

There are perhaps as many bits of Star Wars merchandise as there are planets in the galaxy far, far away, but we’ve found a little something for everyone.

Source – 

14 Nerdy Gift Ideas For The Star Wars Fanatic In Your Life

I went to the first three nights of the protests in Berkeley, and it’s much more peaceful than the local news has covered it. Yes, there have been broken store windows, fires in trash cans and vandalism on many walls. I can’t say it’s right but, there is no such thing as a 100% peaceful protest. What the media doesn’t always show you is the other thousand people peacefully marching against racist cops and police brutality. I’ve been in the middle of it all, just trying to capture these moments, from a fairly unbiased view. A portion of these protestors are only there to antagonize the police. We have to …

I went to the first three nights of the protests in Berkeley, and it’s much more peaceful than the local news has covered it. Yes, there have been broken store windows, fires in trash cans and vandalism on many walls. I can’t say it’s right but, there is no such thing as a 100% peaceful protest. What the media doesn’t always show you is the other thousand people peacefully marching against racist cops and police brutality. I’ve been in the middle of it all, just trying to capture these moments, from a fairly unbiased view. A portion of these protestors are only there to antagonize the police. We have to realize cops are just normal people, as cliche as it sounds, but they can get angry, so they will use excessive force when trying to clear the protestors. Especially since these officers are so indirectly involved with these protests, all they’re doing is their job: to serve and protect.

But at the same time, if they used less force it wouldn’t be getting so out of hand. I’ve seen these protestors throw glass bottles into crowds of police, spray paint cop cars, flatten their tires, throw trash on patrol cars and even break their windows. It just doesn’t make sense; when I’m at the protests I feel like we are in a war zone in our own country against our own people.

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Berkeley Protests

“It’s just so overwhelming to see all who have come to stand with us. Look at the masses – Black, white, all races, all religions… We need to stand like this at all times.” – Gwen Carr, the mother of Eric Garner, at the “Justice for All” March in Washington, D.C. on Saturday, December 13 Few times in a nation’s history is the conscience of its citizens shocked and awakened — across racial, economic, generational and even ideological lines. Times when the collective consciousness of a people screams — and demands without apology — that it’s time for a change, that things must be different…

“It’s just so overwhelming to see all who have come to stand with us. Look at the masses – Black, white, all races, all religions… We need to stand like this at all times.” – Gwen Carr, the mother of Eric Garner, at the “Justice for All” March in Washington, D.C. on Saturday, December 13

Few times in a nation’s history is the conscience of its citizens shocked and awakened — across racial, economic, generational and even ideological lines. Times when the collective consciousness of a people screams — and demands without apology — that it’s time for a change, that things must be different and that it must start today.

So, when people ask, “Why do we march?” — I tell them we march because of the views expressed, concerns shared, and pain felt by all the people who took to the stage to speak and the tens of thousands who marched and chanted for “Justice for All” on Saturday in Washington, D.C. We march for the millions more across America who know that what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. shared in his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” more than 50 years ago is still true today: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

In this catalytic moment driven by cataclysmic circumstances, what we have witnessed across America since the non-indictments of officers in the killings of Michael Brown and Eric Garner may be new to a generation, but it is not new to a nation.

Catalytic moments birthed by cataclysmic circumstances — the horrific beating and murder of Emmett Till, the killing of four little black girls in the 1963 Birmingham church bombing and the murders of civil rights workers Schwerner, Goodman and Chaney. These events shocked our nation into more than awareness. They shocked us into action — action that resulted in the passing of the most comprehensive and sweeping civil rights laws our nation has seen in its history.

That is why we march — because Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Akai Gurley, Tamir Rice, John Crawford and others did not deserve to die; because Marlene Pinnock did not deserve to be viciously beaten and Levar Jones did not deserve to be shot for complying with a trooper’s request; because the excessive use of force — deadly force — by law enforcement against unarmed African Americans has no place in the land of the free and the home of the brave; because police should not fear the communities they have sworn to protect and communities should not fear those who serve to protect them; and because we — as a nation — must and can be better.

We marched in Washington — as we have so many times before — as a multicultural band of historic civil rights organizations united with legislators, clergy, everyday Americans and young people who have committed ourselves to working for the change we want to see and to peaceful, nonviolent advocacy, activism and change. Everyone committed to that mission — no matter age, race, religion or background — is and has always been welcome. The challenges before us are big enough that we all have a role to play in the solutions.

We have been here before — and we can change a nation again. That is why we and our partners — the National Action Network, NAACP and Black Women’s Roundtable — marched in D.C. this past weekend along with many others. It’s also why we will continue to be in communities across America every day, doing the work that the National Urban League has consistently done for 104 years to ensure a better America for all citizens.

We marched in our nation’s capital to protest injustice — and most importantly to put forth a plan of action — a plan that will help ensure that no other family in America ever has to feel the pain of the mothers, fathers, wives, daughters and sons who stood with us that day:

10-POINT JUSTICE PLAN: National Urban League Police Reform and Accountability Recommendations

1) Widespread Use of Body Cameras and Dashboard Cameras

2) Broken Windows Reform and Implementation of 21st Century Community Policing Model

3) Review Police Use of Deadly Force Policies and Adopt a Uniform Deadly Force Standard

4) Comprehensive Retraining of All Police Officers

5) Comprehensive Review and Strengthening of Police Hiring Standards

6) Appointment of Special Prosecutors to Investigate Police Misconduct

7) Mandatory, Uniform FBI Reporting and Audit of Lethal Force Incidents Involving All Law Enforcement

8) Creation and Audit of National Database of Citizen Complaints against Police

9) Revision of National Police Accreditation System for Mandatory Use by Law Enforcement To Be Eligible for Federal Funds

10) National Comprehensive Anti-Racial Profiling Law

Link – 

This Is Why We March

You have worked too hard — getting your (numerous) degrees, navigating Cubicle America, and building your brand to be broke. “Being as broke as a joke”, though, seems to be a recurring theme among black women, who, for all intents and purposes, with the exception of their financial lives, embody intelligence, progressive thinking, resourcefulness, and discipline. But in order to live a full life, you have to first gain insight into why you are still broke. Here are four reasons why a woman as fabulous as you, is still broke: 1. You are broke because you have yet to establish financial boundaries. How do you feel when someone gets too close–all in your personal body space–…

You have worked too hard — getting your (numerous) degrees, navigating Cubicle America, and building your brand to be broke. “Being as broke as a joke”, though, seems to be a recurring theme among black women, who, for all intents and purposes, with the exception of their financial lives, embody intelligence, progressive thinking, resourcefulness, and discipline.

But in order to live a full life, you have to first gain insight into why you are still broke. Here are four reasons why a woman as fabulous as you, is still broke:

1. You are broke because you have yet to establish financial boundaries.

How do you feel when someone gets too close–all in your personal body space–when you are in a restaurant, store, or on public transportation? You probably feel like they need to back up because they are making you uncomfortable. Right? Well, the same thing applies to your money. When someone in your family or in your close circle of friends comes into your personal “financial” space, they are crossing financial boundaries.

Establish your financial boundaries by making your opinions and policies around borrowing clothes and money, cosigning loans, and extended visits, clear to your moocher friends and family members. If you want to be direct, say, ” No, I am not wasting my money on that.” If you want a little more finesse, try this: ” I wish I could, but my finances are not allowing me to do that right now.”

2. You are broke because you have not aligned your values to your spending.

A lot of us walk through life in a financial fog spending haphazardly because we are not paying attention to what we really care about, what we really love, or what we really need. Instead of customizing our lives and, by default, our budgets to reflect our priorities, we emulate the financial habits of friends or those on the media who are over the top in all things: clothes, entertainment, homes, dining, and travel.

To identify what you should be spending your money on, jot down what you love doing in your free time and the items on your “bucket list” and see how much of your money is currently funding those passions. If you find that you love “fine dining,” but do not care much for movies, clothes, or a fancy apartment, then you should focus most of your discretionary (guilt-free) money to that activity and eliminate spending in the other areas. On the other hand, if you are dying to travel, but are spending a whole heap of money on an apartment that you don’t really care about or paying a hefty car note, it is better to trade-in the costly rent and monthly car payment for a cheap place and sell the car so you will have money to explore the world.

3. You are broke because you equate celebration with big spending.

Whether it be landing a new job, a birthday milestone, or a graduation, it is assumed that you have to go out and celebrate; “going out” makes things seem more special and more important when that is not necessarily true. When it is time to celebrate in a big way, consider taking it ol’ school and invite people over to your beautiful home or apartment to revel in your success and happiness. Besides, when you entertain at home, you don’t have to worry about mandatory gratuity, feeling rushed to leave after eating, or sharing public restrooms with strangers.

4. You are broke because you don’t manage your emotions.

The concept of retail therapy is usually associated with a woman needing to shop because she needs an emotional pick-me-up or a confidence boost. We just don’t shop, though, when we are depressed. We also shop when we are bored, happy, feeling lonely, or feeling naughty.

Since experiencing emotions is part of the beautiful human experience, we don’t need to emote less; instead we need to identify healthy and cost-effective alternatives to shopping when our emotions start to surge. Try a hot shower, calling a girlfriend, dancing in the mirror in a bikini, doing something nice for someone else, or taking a nap.

As women destined for greatness, we have to manage our finances in a way that empowers our lives, brings us joy, and enriches our souls. The first step on this journey to greatness begins with self-reflection and a decision to no longer be broke.

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4 Reasons Why You Are Still Broke