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One of the most notable reactions, for me, to changing our name from “HuffPost Gay Voices” to “HuffPost Queer Voices” has been the number of self-identified gay men who are arguing that they hate the word “queer” because it means “different” or “odd” and they want to be “normal.”
For me, being different from the rest of the world is one of the most special things about being queer — especially how that translates into a way of critically perceiving experiences and understanding the nuances of systems of power and privilege because the world has never been — and still is not — designed for our survival.
I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my identity thanks in large part to being born and raised in the conservative Christian South. The cultural attitudes present in my hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina — and many other places like it — created a systematic framework that made me feel ashamed of the parts of me that were “different” or “odd” and that set me apart from other boys — as if there were pieces of me that needed to be fixed.
When I first encountered the concept of queerness in college, my relationship with these parts of myself completely changed. I came to understand, through my studies and joining the community, that these very queer parts of myself were not something to feel ashamed about — they were something truly remarkable. Embracing these pieces gave me the space and agency to explore my identity outside of the baseline constructs of sex, sexuality and gender that the world told me were “normal,” desired and correct.
It also allowed me to see the ways in which all of us who are marginalized in various, intersecting ways by the world need to be in solidarity with one another — because our struggles for justice and liberation are not individually compartmentalized — and that is an integral part of being queer.
Four years later, it’s hard for me to put into words what it means for me to see “queer” actualized and solidified as a way to talk about the vast spectrum of identities and experiences that we try to elevate on this site. However, I can say that it is something truly spectacular.
The assimilationist rhetoric that has surfaced in response to the recent name change to “HuffPost Queer Voices” is disappointing to me — but not surprising. Queer people have been denied equal rights and respect for so long, some want nothing more than to belong and be accepted and, to a degree, that’s certainly understandable.
But, ultimately, I think we should all treasure and value the things that make us different from the rest of the world. My queerness — or “difference” or “oddness” or “strangeness” or however you want to define it — is actually one of the most beautiful gifts I have been given in this life and has made me exactly the person I am today.
And that, more than anything, is something to be celebrated.
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