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The Peete Family.
OWN Network
We were first introduced to Holly Robinson Peete as the big-haired doyenne from 21 Jump Street in the ’80s, a brown girl on TV who used to bust wayward teens with heartthrob Johnny Depp. Fast forward 30 years, and Peete is now mother of four, married for 20 years, an entrepreneur working on her own lifestyle brand, a tireless advocate, and a “blacktress of a certain age” trying to make it happen.
Like most black women, Peete does it all. Which is not to say she’s perfect, or even claiming to be. But through her new docu-drama, For Peete’s Sake, the stunning 51-year-old actress’ shares her world with us and her husband, former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete; twins RJ and Ryan Elizabeth, 17; middle son Robinson, 13; baby boy Roman, 10 every Saturday on OWN.
Peete says she gets to “talk about the things that you don’t hear about.”
“Not to say that the genre wasn’t thriving with a more conflict-driven agenda, but I felt like it might be different to put a positive spin on [it] and have it be more resolution-driven,” Peete explains. “I have never seen on TV a family talking to their son with autism about what to do if he encounters the police.”
Robinson’s oldest son, RJ, was diagnosed with autism when he was 3 years old, and Peete has been a fierce advocate for him, as well as for other children on the spectrum through her HollyRod Foundation. In the second episode, Holly and Rodney sat down with RJ and had “the talk,” a necessary ritual between black parents and their children, and one that takes on special significance when your child has special needs.
“With RJ, he doesn’t always process social cues properly and he believes in the good in everybody. He asks me all the time about the Tamir Rice situation and he asks me about when Trayvon happened, Mike Brown, you name it. All of them ask me questions.
“But with Robinson and Roman, or Ryan, I can sort of be more like, ‘The world is ugly, and that’s how it is,’” she continues, “but with RJ he keeps wanting to know why. “Why? He didn’t have a gun, mom, so why would they kill him, mom? Why was this guy shot in the back, mom?” I’m like oh God, I don’t have all these answers.”
The Peetes have been grappling with autism for some time, and have shared with us from their first book, My Brother Charlie, written seven years ago by RJ’s twin, Ryan, a now a budding singer-songwriter en route to college and the only girl in a family of boys.
Their latest effort, Same But Different: Teen Life on the Autism Express, a sequel to Charlie, is by both Ryan and RJ, and gives a good look into sibling relationships when one of them has special needs. “RJ was able to express himself and we got his voice in there,” says Peete proudly.
Through her HollyRod Foundation, Peete raises money for autism awareness and speaks to the African American community about the disorder. And one thing that she stresses is that when it comes to autism and our people, is that denial is not a river in Egypt.
“The number one question I get in these meet and greets and public appearances is, “I know my sister, I know my cousin has autism but his mom and dad are in denial,” says Peete. “That’s not just unique to African American communities. I get that question from all cultures but I think with us we tend to push back on things that have to do with our brains, and we can’t do that anymore.”
“As a community we have to stop being so worried about stigma,” she adds. “We have to not be embarrassed culturally to talk about disorders and learning issues. We always had that cousin, “Oh that’s just Joe, he don’t talk.” No, Jo-Jo needs intervention. Jo-Jo may need a diagnosis and we can’t just relegate him to that’s just how Jo-Jo is. He needs help.
“Often times we culturally push back on the idea that our kid could have something wrong with him mentally. We have to stop that because that’s keeping our children from being diagnosed. It’s making them get diagnosed two to five years later than other communities, and that’s missing a crucial window of intervention.”
Peete also has some advice for African American moms – and dads — in dealing with an autistic child.
“The number one thing I tell parents, male and female, moms and dads, is to advocate hard and don’t be afraid to be that mom that’s always up at the school. I tell people all the time, “If you come down to school, if they don’t roll their eyes when they see you come up to school, you’re not doing your job,” she says emphatically.
“For dads, especially African American dads, you’ve got to talk about it. That was one thing I was super proud of Rodney pulling together a man of color, dad of color, autism roundtable on For Peete’s Sake the other night, because you never see that. You never see men of color sitting down, sharing their feelings about their kids with autism and certainly kids that are teenagers. I’m really proud of that and I’m hoping that that resonates in other communities.”
And as with autism in real life, the topic takes up quite a bit of space on the show, but For Peete’s Sake also touches on issues native to any contemporary family, including how to keep a 20 year marriage sizzling (the Peetes try their hand at role play); giving each child his or her special attention (middle child Robinson had to spend his 13th birthday without Holly but worked it out with extended family), meddling mother in laws (80-year-old Delores is a fox and a spitfire), and working on your own dreams while raising a family (Peete’s HRP by Holly Robinson Peete debuts on Evine Live on May 27).
“I’m really happy with what we were able to cram in to eight episodes,” says Peete. “Now if we get a pickup, I can think of a thousand other things. Every day there’s some new drama. Every day there’s more content but I’m really proud of the arc of stories that we’ve been able to tell.”
For Peete’s Sake airs this Saturday, May 7 at 9p.m. ET. For past episodes, download the WatchOWN app.
Angela Bronner Helm is a writer, editor and professor of journalism at the City College of New York. Follow her on Twitter.
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